SFS spreading across the country

A new and potentially dangerous disease is emergeing here in America, causing doctors and scientists to worry that the spread of the illness may soon cause a global pandemic. Dubbed Season Finale Syndrome, or SFS, the disease seemingly manifests itself in people overly affected, distraught, or pissed off over the season finale of their favorite television shows. Symptoms that are inherent have been high fever, listlessness, depression, and a complete disinterest in “all the crap they put on TV in the summertime.”

“This is of grave concern to the world. The swine flu is the sniffles compared to what we might be facing with this,” said Dr. Allan Rubinstein of the Centers for Disease Control.

Doctors have been seeing cases of SFS for years, but there have only been handful of them and with very minor symptoms. “Season finales have just gotten a lot shittier over the years,” Rubinstein says. “Things have hit their peak this year, particularly with the finales of 24 and Lost disappointing and angering so many people.”

Doctors warn that the virus can be fatal, particularly in its most severe form – Series Finale Syndrome.

“If a show is ending forever and ends on a really bad note the symptoms are dramatically worse,” Rubinstein said. He cites the series finales of Seinfeld and this year’s Life on Mars as catalysts for cases he has seen.

Scientists are feverishly working on finding a cure before its too late. With the season finale of American Idol airing last night there is concern that more cases will soon emerge. However Rubinstein says, “Even I couldn’t watch American Idol this year. Hopefully nobody really gave a crap.”